Emotional Stairs

Stairs Up

We seem to have an internal reward or satisfaction system. If things are done ‘right’ in our mind then we reward ourselves, even if its just subtle internal satisfaction – that ‘inner smile’. So when something works to plan with a positive result we may think/feel subconsciously:

Job done satisfactorily, reward level met, energy and balance restored, on to the next thing…

If we keep up this pace of satisfaction and reward we steadily climb the staircase of personal satisfaction and we maintain good physical and emotional balance.

Stairs Down

If, on the other hand, we don’t feel we have ‘done it right’ we don’t reward ourselves, and  if it seems to be a repeating theme, we may chastise and punish ourselves with negative self talk:

You can’t do anything right, – you’re incompetent!”

and on it goes.

In this ongoing negative cycle, rewards are rarely met and the energy is not built up, and at the end of the day we feel exhausted instead of restored. If we keep chastising ourselves, we keep ‘going down the emotional stairs’ to the darker places of our personality and emotions, often in an endless comparison loop of revisiting our negative thoughts, recollections and emotions.

Staying on the Level

So how can we change this? Simple: create ‘satisfaction’ breaks. Short intervals throughout the day where you pause and reflect neutrally on what you have done, for example:

I did that. I finished it and regardless of how I felt about it – its done and I completed it

You completed it within your energy and abilities. No one else is you, so don’t compare how someone else would have done it differently or better. “They” can’t be everywhere. You were there, you did it, you took on the tasks and risks and completed it. And whatever the sense or lack of satisfaction, that task has now been done and this is another moment.

Life is a series of moments, and we learn from each of these moments. We can’t know the answer and ‘right way’ for everything. First we have to arrive. Then do. Then reflect and move forward.

Success is never found. Failure is never fatal. Courage is the only thing – Winston Churchill

High School Musical Chairs

My first insight of who I really was occurred at a high school reunion. It was rather comical because I’d made a fundamental error. You see I’d dropped out of year 12, even though I had quite a good IQ, because my memory was forever letting me down. I could think well on my feet, just not in an exam environment. Life for me was for observing and participating, not for storing and retrieving.  Continue reading

Some (don’t) Like it Hot – stop your house turning into an oven this summer

Its stinking hot. Your house is like an oven and you wonder if there is any way to keep it cool. Well your t(r)usty techno-nerd has poked around to see what works.

You may have seen the ads in the Sunday papers for roof whirligigs promising heat escape miracles, people knocking on your door wanting to install insulation in your roof to make it ‘much cooler’. But really, are they it worth it or are they just tricks to help you part with your money? Continue reading

The year my tum went psycho

So you’ve noticed in the last few months that your tummy is reacting badly to things that you eat. You find that your stomach gurgles quite a lot. You eat some things and you immediately feel drowsy, you find that you get constipation or a bad case of the trots or both. A trip to the loo is, well, suffocating for the next person. Welcome to the unfortunate world of the malfunctioning digestive system – the stomach and bowl.

Continue reading